UN Very Special Envoy, Hollywood Star, and Compulsive Adopter Angelina Jolie is en route to New York to adopt Thomas Churchwell, star of countless hate blogs.Jolie, interviewed in war-ravaged Darfur, said, "I need to go where I am truly needed. Thomas has suffered a crushing blow - the realization that no matter how well he acts the role of respectability now, his writings of indescribable hate and cruelty will be circling the web forever."
Actor Brad Pitt, who accompanied Jolie to Darfur, piped up, "I just hope our newest son doesn't grab an Oscar nod for best actor this year. Talk about competition!"
Serene Angelina, whose name means "little angel," said, "These Darfurians are fine now, at least the ones I have adopted. My work here is done."
The sun-kissed Pitts drove away, as the clouds parted and angel matter descended amid blinding light and overly dramatic trumpets.
Jolie is expected in New York within hours. Sources say Churchwell is excited about his adoption.
Back in Darfur, the angel matter was very good with mustard. "Tastes like potato chips," said a tribal elder through a spokesperson.
This story is a parody.
