By F Scott Eagle

Mr Churchwell is a former D-List magician and Ms Implantz is a former stripper.
"It's a perfect match," Churchwell wheezed at reporters. "I'm a dirty old man and she's a hot young moron!"
The couple has scheduled a 5-day honeymoon in Hawaii and say they plan on having lots of scorching sex in a volcano. When the 75-year-old Churchwell was asked about the age difference, the danger of having sex in a volcano, and the risk of death on the honeymoon, he shrugged, "If she dies, she dies."