Thomas Churchwell, the controversial, heavy-chested cyber stalker, is being sought by members of the Goolag police, in connection with various offenses ranging from libel and threats, to falsely reporting a parody blog for TOS violations, to the less serious offense of performing a sexual act with a walnut.The bombastic blogger, thought to be about 80, joined Goolag dot com two years ago, and 'stirred up a hornets nest' again this week by clashing swords with one of Goolag's most prolific censors, Herr Snuffy Kilborn.
The German-born censor was involved in the Breaking News parody blog murder, but after reading the blog, as it lay dying, he suddenly realized that he had been had - by Churchwell. And this, sources say, resulted in a frantic search to discover the true identity of the latter, with theories being wildly tossed around the Blogosphere.
Although the search has thus far proved fruitless, Truman Capote is the name on many lips, due to the lisping author having had the same initials as Churchwell. But literates have pointed out that Mr. Churchwell has no talent for writing. Said one, "After reading his posts, I wanted to flush them down the crapper."
Meanwhile, the search continues. Churchwell, who claims to be a magician, has been hiding out on his Wordpress hate site, obviously delighting in the mayhem he has caused.
If prosecuted, however, he faces being banned from both Goolag and Booger dot com, after undergoing a not insubstantial 'spanking punishment' from Herr Kilborn, which, doubtless, will keep him in blogging material for another decade.
This story is a parody.
