By Sam Eagle
High powered Queens, New York publicist, Lotta Poope, announced today that she is the new spokesperson for Thomas Churchwell, AKA Tarquin Churchwell, and Thomas "Boom Boom" Crimewell.Churchwell recently fired his long time publicist, Satan, for not getting him enough publicity.
Poope said, "I am pleased to represent Boom Boom and speak with forked tongue. We have lots of plans for him, including a horror movie deal, appearances on America's Most Wanted and possibly a reality show. And we plan to follow his eviction as it evolves. You'll be seeing and hearing a lot more about that. He's out!"
In addition to Churchwell, the Poope PR firm also represents Hollywood starlets and a long list of cyber criminals. The PR firm's motto is, "You sin, we spin".
Churchwell could not be reached for comment, as he is currently hiding out in his room. Sources say that he will be out, when his eviction from SUS is enforced in 2052.
This story is parody.
