By Sam Eagle, Jr.
May 18, 2018. A New York judge has ordered the release of Thomas Tarquin Churchwell from prison. Churchwell, pictured at left, was serving a life sentence after he was convicted of 686,000 counts of libel against men, women and children almost 10 years ago.
The ruling has sparked outrage from bloggers. The surviving family members of those libeled by Churchwell were disgusted upon hearing the news.
His Honor Judge Apaul Cruckshank fought off criticism and defended his decision. "If you don't like what I said, then you can just write letters to Google."
And thousands will be writing if Churchwell goes on another spree. The Judge, however, did reveal a condition of Churchwell's release to serve as a checks-and-balances approach to curb his criminal tendencies.
Churchwell is to be chained to mobster Tony Soprano, who himself was given the gift of unsupervised visits away from a prison that he has called home for the past decade. In 2007 Soprano was convicted of racketeering. A fan-based jury found him not guilty of orchestrating dozens of heinous murders.
"The two will keep a good eye on each other," said Judge Cruckshank. "They promise to be good."
So, at 5AM this morning the two court-ordered conjoined twins were dropped off at an undisclosed location near Queens with some basic supplies as directed by the Judge.
Churchwell was given a cordless PC mouse for self-protection. Soprano was given a gun and a large bag of cement.
Judge Cruckshank released himself to his chambers where he poured a stiff drink and turned on the evening news.
May 18, 2018. A New York judge has ordered the release of Thomas Tarquin Churchwell from prison. Churchwell, pictured at left, was serving a life sentence after he was convicted of 686,000 counts of libel against men, women and children almost 10 years ago.The ruling has sparked outrage from bloggers. The surviving family members of those libeled by Churchwell were disgusted upon hearing the news.
His Honor Judge Apaul Cruckshank fought off criticism and defended his decision. "If you don't like what I said, then you can just write letters to Google."
And thousands will be writing if Churchwell goes on another spree. The Judge, however, did reveal a condition of Churchwell's release to serve as a checks-and-balances approach to curb his criminal tendencies.
Churchwell is to be chained to mobster Tony Soprano, who himself was given the gift of unsupervised visits away from a prison that he has called home for the past decade. In 2007 Soprano was convicted of racketeering. A fan-based jury found him not guilty of orchestrating dozens of heinous murders.
"The two will keep a good eye on each other," said Judge Cruckshank. "They promise to be good."
So, at 5AM this morning the two court-ordered conjoined twins were dropped off at an undisclosed location near Queens with some basic supplies as directed by the Judge.
Churchwell was given a cordless PC mouse for self-protection. Soprano was given a gun and a large bag of cement.
Judge Cruckshank released himself to his chambers where he poured a stiff drink and turned on the evening news.
This story is obviously a parody.
